kawaiians: if i were a caterpillar i would probably emerge from my cocoon as another slightly fatter caterpillar
mom: did you get home safe?
me: no i died a few times
warpedesto: do you ever just make a friend and think I am so glad this friend is mine
selfdoubtandsyphilis: dankestrnemes: do animals think in english or in the sounds they make this is what yahoo paid $1.1 billion for
groceryfag: grodywoadie: alwaysbummed: videohall: Well trained dog struggles retrieving his Frisbee without breaking the rules AWHHH BABY VERY IMPORTANT SO CUTE OMG
geometricdeathtrap: metallikato: generallegendary: metallikato: jewelstaites: how to give a good handjob bop it pull it twist it harder better faster stronger You pull your left hand in You pull your left hand out You pull your left hand in And you shake it all about! Cha cha real smooth none of you ever touch a penis
When my favorite song comes on
mermaidsandmisandry: things i dont need in my life: wasps those stringy things on the banana commercials on youtube
obliteratedheart: I’m having a fruit salad for dinner. Well, it’s mostly grapes. Okay, it’s all grapes. Fermented grapes. I’m having wine for dinner.
Merrrr :/ I’ve avoided my room all day because I wasn’t really ready to go in there, since it would be the first time I would be in there since Frank passed away. but now it’s late and I have to go to bed since I’m exhausted I’m not handling it well at all.
mother-fucking-avengers: fankiero: fankiero: I call this game how many pieces of uncooked spaghetti can I throw at my cat until she gets pissed off and bites me 39 i bet she’s spaghetting tired of your shit
corgay: if a girl says she wants to cut her hair short and your first response is “i dont like girls with short hair” i will shit in your mouth while you sleep
run-cause-hitler: enayalate-h8-this-year: bbanditt: slett: winchestercodependency: ibecameacat: what if all your fingers just turned into tongues… like what would you even do dude people with vaginas would have the best time getting off “People with vaginas” what are those called again I can’t remember this is what yahoo payed 1.1billion dollars for
IF ANYONE HAS JOHN GREEN'S REAL TUMBLR LET ME KNOW
fishingboatproceeds: I will let you know if I discover anything.
This is pretty much going to be me all day tomorrow. I have no idea how I will function while working while thinking about sexy times.
lonelywhiteasian: lay nudes at my gravestone, not flowers. flowers will wither away, but a bomb ass booty is forever